A recent Harvard Business blogpost ["When Clarity is Not the Same as Brevity"] inspired this tip. David Silverman said if you scatter a dictionary’s words on the floor, it’s useless. But arrange them alphabetically and you’ll find what you want whether there are 10 or 10,000 words. The difference is navigation.
Ditto for anything long that you’re writing. [Newsflash: They won't read every word you write.] So use headers and subheads to help them skip to what they’re most interested in.
Subhead tips
Here are several options for writing subheads that engage and orient your readers:
Summarise — Instead of the blind headline, “Recommendation”, try “Recommendation: Hire another salesperson”. Perfect for skim-readers and informational writing.
Offer a benefit — Got a busy reader? Try putting a major benefit into a headline/subhead. At least if that’s all they read, they’ll know what you’re offering. E.g. “Half-price brokerage”
Arouse curiosity — “Curiosity” subheads get attention, so can be good in persuasive writing. E.g. “Like to work less but achieve more?” They work best when you offer a benefit to readers. The downsides: They can annoy REALLY busy, impatient readers, and they’re a bit informal, so check they’re appropriate.
“How to” — These headlines are everywhere, because they work; people want to learn how to do stuff. Instead of “System jobs”, try “How to add a new job to the system” — much clearer.
News — People love to learn about new things. Put on your journo hat — what’s newsworthy about your topic? (See “news values“) E.g. “New CFO was educated at Harvard” is better than “Welcome new CFO”.
Of course, there are more. Got one you’d like to share? What’s your favourite? Please tell us in a comment below…
Apologies to “Lord of the Rings,” but you must know this principle. Use it, and your readers will say “My preciousss…” when reading your emails or letters. Forget it, and you’ll seem like Gollum on a bad day.
Here it is: Inverted Pyramid.
Or, “Big News First.”
The opposite of inverted pyramid is story structure. People love stories. But most business readers are time poor; they just want the main point, and fast. Write in story structure and your main character could be “delete.”
Stories follow “pyramid” structure, going from context, to supporting information, to climax (the “big news”).
But news journalists write with inverted-pyramid structure; they lead with the Big News First, then backfill with progressively less important information.
So if you write to your boss, explaining that your project is going well, don’t say this:
“Since we started XYZ project, we’ve had various financial, logistical and HR problems… [etc.] But we solved them, and the project’s going well and is on track.”
What if she’s too busy to get to the good news? She’ll just read the bad and think you’re struggling. So say the big news first, giving her the option of not reading it all if she’s swamped:
“XYZ project is on track to be completed within budget. We’ve overcome various financial, logistical and HR problems… [etc.]”
Apply Big News First to most things you write, and your readers will love you for saving them time.
Have your say…
…below! And to kick off the conversation: When shouldn’t you use inverted pyramid?
The Urban Dictionary defines “New Skool” as anything fresh and new that threatens the established way of thinking or doing. It’s the opposite of “Old School,” and can apply to your writing as much as how you dance, dress, or the music you enjoy.
I’m not talking about gettin’-jiggy-wit-da-homeboys language, but about a fresh style of writing that works best in modern business.
A quick guide to “New Skool”
NO: Long, complex sentences YES: Simple and concise NO: “Big word” syndrome YES: Plain English NO: It’s all about you (the writer) YES: It’s all about them (the reader) NO: Intro to conclusion YES: Conclusion first, then fill in the the gaps NO: Write to demonstrate intellect YES: Write to solve a reader’s problem
The First Commandment of writing that gets results is Know Thy Readers.
Web guru Gerry McGovern (www.gerrymcgovern.com) proved how crucial audience research is. When researching search terms for a discounted-airfares website, he learned this:
In the USA, over 80 times more people search for “cheap flights” than for “low fares,” but in the UK that figure skyrockets to 6,500 times more people who search for “cheap flights” instead of “low fares”.
That’s invaluable when you consider most airlines like to say “low fares”. The lesson? Your readers can think very differently to you. Whether you’re writing a proposal to win $1m of work, or a monthly report, the better you know your readers the more successful your writing will be.
Here’s a fast track to figuring out your readers’ “hot buttons,” building rapport with them, and using the right level of jargon:
Internet searches: Google their name, but narrow your search results by using inverted commas: “Joe Bloggs”. Also try searching on social networks like LinkedIn and Facebook.
Read what they’re reading: This will help you talk in their “language,” as well as learn what issues are top of mind for them. E.g. if your reader was in HR, you’d read HR Monthly, etc.
Read what they’re writing: If your target is the CEO of a company, search her website for speeches, press releases or newsletters she may have written or contributed to.
Talk to their contacts: No, don’t stalk your target, but finding a natural way to learn more about them by talking to their friends or staff can be worth it.
Talk to them: People are often more approachable than you expect, and may give you time if you frame your meeting as a win-win. For larger audiences, consider surveying them, e.g. with Survey Monkey.
How else do YOU research your readers? Share the love and your thoughts in comments below…
Getting the tone of your writing wrong can be disastrous. The resulting misunderstandings can lose you business, relationships – even your job.
This was top of mind for me recently when I was training clients in Hong Kong and Singapore. Many Asians, careful not to “lose face,” are polite when talking to people in person. But when writing in English they sometimes sound too abrupt; e.g. “I want your report by Monday,” instead of “Please have your report to me by Monday.”
What’s tone? It’s how your writing sounds. It reflects your attitude towards your reader. Does it sound friendly and professional, or stiff and formal? Confident or arrogant? Helpful or bureaucratic?
Here’s how to adjust your tone:
Delay sending. If your message or reader is important, put your writing aside for a while (preferably overnight) so you can review it with “fresh” eyes before sending. OR have someone else read it.
How well do you know them? Be more careful with your tone when readers don’t know you well (they’re less likely to forgive any misplaced tone).
Nice or nasty? Be paranoid about your tone when writing something negative (e.g. critical feedback). Better still, don’t write at all – talk to them.
Check your attitude. Readers can smell a bad attitude. If you’re annoyed about something, “vent” first to release your emotional hot air – talk it over with a friend or write what you’d like to say, but then delete it!
Don’t write negatively. i.e. “Write positively”! E.g. Before: “Please pay by Friday or I won’t be able to give you the special rate” (negative). After: “Please pay by Friday so I can give you the special rate” (positive).
Surprising “tone” research: When talking face-to-face, how much of your message is communicated via your words compared to nonverbals, like tone? You won’t believe this.
Now go tone up your flabby phrases!
Got another angle on tone you’d like to share? Please let me know as a comment below…
Always remember your writing represents you. How does yours make you look? Do your letters sound respectable, as if you’re in a suit, but your emails sound like you’re in shorts and t-shirt? Too much informality ain’t good (see?).
Take it too far and you’ll sound like you’re just in your undies! Examples include using computer game jargon and text-message abbreviations in job applications – see “Graduates ‘SMS’ in job l3tt3rs” (Sydney Morning Herald).
That article cites a survey showing employers care most about graduates’ communication skills, more than their analytical abilities or academic records.
One area people come unstuck in is openings and closings:
Openings: “Dear John” is good for letters; “Hi John” for emails. (But know your audience — a successful young businesswoman I know thinks strangers are rude and too familiar when they email her with “Hi X”.)
Closings: For letters, “Yours sincerely” if you know their name; “Yours faithfully” if you don’t. For emails, “Cheers” if you know them well, and something like “Kind regards” if you don’t.
Tip: How did your reader write to you? If they EMAIL you with “Dear John” and sign off with “Yours faithfully,” think twice before replying with “Hi Frank” and “Cheers”.
Like to take your writing up a notch? This article, “Writing Wrongs,” previously published in HR Monthly, is for you.
Survey results: Creative avoidance Last month we asked for your most creative ways of avoiding writing. Full results are here [click "view"]. Highlights were plucking eyebrows, flossing teeth and vacuuming shoeboxes!
Is writing becoming too informal? e.g. some people think contractions (don’t, can’t, won’t, etc) are too informal for business writing today. What do you think?
Imagine you’re writing a letter to a big company whose business you want to win:
“Dear Prospect,
I’m glad we had the chance to meet and discuss our widget program. We have a lot to offer and are excited about the possibilities ahead…”
[Cue screeching tyres] Whoa!
Who is this letter to? [Hint: the prospect.] Yet who is it about? YOU, not them.
The first step to influencing readers is to make your message all about THEM. Why? Because most of us are very interested in…us!
Remedy: use the word “you” a lot.
The American researcher Dr Rudolph Flesch (no relation to Hannibal Lecter) found people are more likely to read writing if it contains two or three times more instances of “you” (and “your,” “yours,” etc, and the reader’s name), than references to the writer (“me,” “I,” “our,” “we,” etc, and the writer’s name).
Focus on your reader and what’s important to them and you’ll grow the relationship, and with it your business.
Do you agree? When do you think you shouldn’t use “you”? Please share your wisdom below…
